Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What was different? Me!

The day started out well but I was worried it was going down hill fast.

I got up early and got myself ready to go to the grocery store in the wee hours of the morning for some last minute items I needed for the girls' tea party. To make a long story not quite so long, every time someone woke up, I quietly got them ready to join me, got ready to go out the door, and someone else woke up. In the end I got three young kids ready, put the baby back to sleep, and dosed out Tylenol for an older child with a headache. An hour later I finally made it out the door. Inside I was getting angry. I woke up at 5:45 to accomplish this. Why were all the young kids waking up early today? And why were all the older kids sleeping in today? But, I kept a smile on my face. I knew that we would all enjoy the early morning trip to the store (they had so much fun!). But, I just wanted to get OUT before they started to get hungry, the teething baby woke up, etc. Well, we got to the store, got everything we needed, even bought some flowers for the tea party table, and got home. All without one single fight! This was sort of surreal.

Fast forward about 7 hours. I am putting the baby to sleep, it's been a long morning for Logan. He is such a sweetheart but he is teething, he's not quite himself, those darned molars have left his gums so swollen and black and blue. It's been about 15 minutes and he is almost asleep, and I am getting a much needed rest myself, when I notice a presence staring at me. It is one of my kids, and all of my kids are supposed to be on rest time in separate rooms (where I put them before trying to get Logan to sleep). This particular child has a headache. Now, I should have been more understanding, it was only 15 minutes into rest time and rest time lasts 45. That's a long time to wait for Tylenol if your headache is really bothersome, esp. at rest time when all you are allowed to do is look at books. And how was this child supposed to know that I would have been out in FIVE minutes, Logan was that close! But, Logan notices this presence as well. He wakes up crying. I dose out the Tylenol along with some verbal dissatisfaction over waking the baby and head back to get Logan back to sleep. I tried and tried. He cried and cried. We gave up. I was mad. I was still steaming 1/2 hour later when the "offending" child asked for help with something. I looked at him and said, well, I could help you if I wasn't holding a crying baby that would have had his nap if YOU hadn't woken him up. I made a few more comments in the next few minutes that were very similar. Was I right in behaving this way? No way! Was it obvious to the kids I was mad! YES! I walked downstairs for a few minutes (it is so hard to get calm and collected while still consoling a clingy tired baby isn't it?) But, recollected I became, and rather quickly once I tried I must admit. I came upstairs and apologized. I explained why I was angry, and that yes, Logan will be cranky this afternoon, but was that any excuse for my behavior? No one answered, I think they were somewhat afraid to. What would you tell your mom? Yeah, mom your behavior wasn't so good?! Anyway, I talked about how oftentimes things don't go our way, and it may even be due to someone else's action. But, that is no reason to be rude, and it isn't going to make things better, it only makes things worse. I looked at all the kids and said, "Let's go to the park and play tennis then go to the playground". We needed to get some fresh air, Logan needed a distraction, it all worked out well.

So why did the morning go so well and the afternoon, well, let's just say...not quite as well? In both instances my plans were threatened for the next few hours. I promised the girls a tea party and their friends were coming soon. I know that a tired baby is a cranky baby. The difference? My attitude. That's all there was to it. In the morning I was more focused. I had just finished praying, I quietly asked God for some help. In the afternoon that was gone. I didn't ask for help, I tried to do it on my own, and look where it got me. Well, I guess it was a good teachable moment, embarrassing but teachable.


Crunchy Momma said...

Boy, did I need that this morning! Thanks, pal!

ViolinMama said...

one handed with baby....but this was a wonderful reflection I needed. THank you for sharing it.